"And she cried out in eternal ecstasy- for never before had she felt such hate and love for life."

The Internet hasn't been working lately, but it's probably just as well.
There are other reasons why I don't feel like writing.
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“Although I don’t understand everything,
It just seems beautiful.”

From A Million Little Pieces (one of the books I’m reading now):

“The Young Man came to the Old Man seeking counsel.
I broke something, Old Man.
How badly is it broken?
It’s in a million little pieces.
I’m afraid I can’t help you.
Why?
There’s nothing you can do.
Why?
It can’t be fixed.
Why?
It’s broken beyond repair. It’s in a million little pieces.”

Although I don’t quite understand it now, I’ve been reciting it over and over in my head this week. “It’s broken beyond repair...”
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I've been skipping school every day now.
It's like every time I wake up, I have this stone where my heart should be, and I can't seem to get the blood to pulse around it.
So, instead of school, I've been sleeping.....but the sleep doesn't help.
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Kaleb and I are fighting, what a surprise.
Something I said made him crazily angry, and instead of talking to me about it, he went and beat up a friend of his.
I know that doesn't make any sense. But, to me it does.
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Chris has been calling me non-stop, leaving me pitiful messages, writing me notes that he slips through the grate into my locker.
Taryn---
What went wrong?
Taryn---
Are you mad at me?
Taryn---
Where are you?

Exactly. Where I am?
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My teachers all call the house at 9:00 and leave messages.
"We've been noticing that Taryn hasn't come to school in a while. If there is anything wrong, please give us a call...or, get a friend to bring her her work, it seems to be piling up."
I erase all the messages and go back to bed.
I think that's why I sleep so much now.
I can't bear to face that pile.

"If I had somewhere to go, I'd run.
But everything's gone, and there's no love."
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The doorbell rings non-stop.
First it's Kaleb. When I don't answer he tries to open it, only to find it's locked. All the other doors are the same.
Next, its Dusty.
He slips a note underneath the windshield wiper.
"T,
Where have you been? Look, Kaleb's sorry, he feels stupid...Why don't you just talk to him?
If that what's really bothering you....which I doubt...."
Old, wise, Dusty.
Sometimes I hate him.
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